他说我们的生命就是 由点点滴滴集合而成的
Anyway, he says that we are the sum of all the moments of our lives...
..而任何人坐下来，写出来的 都不过是自己生命中的体验...
...and that anybody who sits down to write will use the clay of their own life...
...谁都无法回避
...that you can't avoid that.
所以当我审视我的人生，我必须得承认，我发现...
So when I look at my own life,you konw I have to admit, right, that I--
我从来没有经历过枪林弹雨 或是暴力事件，起码没真正体验过
I've never been around a bunch of guns or violence, you know, not really.
没有什么政治阴谋，也没什么直升机失事
No political intrigue or a helicopter crash, right?
但是我的人生，从我个人观点来看 仍然是富有戏剧性的
But my life, from my own point of view,has been full of drama, right?
他有份不错的工作，妻子也很漂亮
He's got a good job and a beautiful wife, right, but that--
他应有尽有，但是这并不是他真正想要的...
Everything that he needs.But that doesn't matter...
...因为他真正想要的是为某种理想而战
...because what he wants is to fight for meaning.
你明白吗，快乐来自于过程
You know? Happiness is in the doing, right?
而不是因为你得到了你想要的东西
在华沙 头脑变得更清醒 在日记本上记的事情更多了
到处逛，思考，然后写下来 我的大脑好像在休息
...walk around, think, and write.My brain felt like it was at rest...
没有了那种强烈的情绪 就好像是自然的高潮一样
...free from the consuming frenzy.It was almost like a natural high.
我感觉内心格外平和 没有什么奇怪的冲动要去什么地方
I felt so peaceful inside.No strange urge to be somewhere else.
一开始这样可能看起来很无聊
It could have seemed like boredom at first...
但是很快这就让人感到内心非常非常的充实
...but it became very, very soulful.
不过那个主唱，他整天就想着让我们能出唱片
But the lead-singer guy, he was just so obsessed with us getting a record deal.
我们整天谈的，想的 就是参加更大的演出
It's all we talked about, thought about,getting bigger shows.
每时每刻都是为了将来的发展，而现在...
Everything was just focused on the future all the time. And now...
...乐队却已经不存在了
...the band doesn't even exist anymore.
现在回顾那些我们参加了的表演
And looking back at the shows we did play...
甚至哪怕只是排练 都觉得那么有意思！
...even rehearsing, it was just so much fun.
是- 但事实上...
-Right. -But the reality of it is...
真正能改善世界的工作 是日复一日的点滴进步
...the true work of improving things is in the little achievements.（长句的结构）
- 这才是应该享受的事 - 你具体指什么呢？
-That's what you need to enjoy
他们只是享受着帮助人的那种过程
They actually enjoy the process of helping others.
我是说，我感觉我好像...
...you know, to be in the moment.I mean, I feel like I'm...
是被设计成那种对什么都不很满意的类型...
...designed to be slightly dissatisfied with everything, you know?
你懂吗，我是说，好像永远都 在试图改善自己的现状一样
It's like always trying to better my situation.
我满足了一种欲望 就会刺激另一种欲望，懂吗？
I satisfy one desire,and it just agitates another
然后我就想：都去他妈的吧 欲望是生活的动力
And then I think, to hell with it, right?Desire's the fuel of life.
你认为这是真的吗？
You know? Do you think it's true...
如果我们没有欲望，我们就会永远快乐？
...that if we never wanted anything,we'd never be unhappy?
我不知道，没有欲望，这难道 不是抑郁症的一种表现吗？
I don't know. Not wanting anything,isn't that a symptom of depression?
没错，就是的，对吧？我是说，有欲望是种健康的表现，对吧？
Yeah, that is, right?I mean, it's healthy to desire, right?
是啊，我不知道，不过那些佛教徒都那么说，对吧？
Yeah. I don't know. It's what all those Buddhist guys say, right?
从欲望中解脱出来，你就会发现...
Liberate yourself from desire,and you'll find...
- 你已经拥有你需要的一切 - 是啊，不过当我想要拥有...
-...you already have everything you need. -But I feel alive...
那些不算基本生存需要的东西的时候 我能感觉到自己是真实存活的
我喜欢我们拥有无止境的欲望
I like that we have those ever-renewing desires, you know?
也许那是一种有权享用的感觉
Maybe it's this sense of entitlement.
你懂吗，好像什么时候你觉得你配穿双新鞋
You know, like whenever you feel like you deserve that new pair of shoes?
欲望本身不是坏事，只要你不要 太在意得失就好
It's okay to want things, as long as you aren't pissed off if you don't get them.
生活很辛苦，这也是顺理成章的事
Life's hard. It's supposed to be.
回忆本来是非常美好的 只要你能让过去的都过去
Memory is a wonderful thing if you don't have to deal with the past.
尽管人们都不愿意承认，但事实上我们...我们很多个性都是天生的
People don't want to admit it, but it's like we have these innate set points...
很少有什么后天发生的事 能改变我们的性情
...and nothing much that happens to us changes our disposition.
即使他们现在坐在了轮椅上，他们还是乐天派
...they're now an optimistic, jovial person in a wheelchair.
如果他们是见识短浅的笨家伙
If they're a petty, miserable asshole...
就算他们有了卡迪拉克轿车，大房子 游艇，他们还是见识短浅的笨蛋
...they're a petty, miserable asshole with a new Cadillac, a house and a boat.
就是说，哪怕有再多的幸运降临 他们还是难以得到满足？
So I'll be forever depressed no matter what great things happen?
不过有的时候我会担心 当我走到生命尽头的时候...
But sometimes I worry I'll get to the end of my life...
-...我会发现我想要做的事还没都做过 - 哦，那你想要做什么？
-...feeling I haven't done all I wanted to. -Well, what do you want to do?
我想画更多的画 我想每天弹吉他
I want to paint more,I want to play my guitar every day.
我想学中文 我想写更多的歌...
I want to learn Chinese.I want to write more songs.
我想做的事太多了 但是最后却只干了没多少
There's so many things I want to do,and I end up doing not much.
爱因斯坦说过一段话，我真的很喜欢
There's an Einstein quote I really, really like.
他说：“如果你不相信任何魔法和神话的话
He said, "lf you don't believe in any kind of magic or mystery...
- 那你就和死人差不多了” - 是啊，我也喜欢这话
-...you're basically as good as dead." -Yeah, I like that.
我不能永远待在这里
That I don't have any permanent place here, you know.
我们不会长生不老
In eternity or whatever, you know.
我越想到这个，就越觉得不能浪费人生
And the more I think that, I can't go through life saying this is no big deal.
因为生命仅此一次 任何事情，不管是有趣的
This is it. This is actually happening.What do you think is interesting?
还是好笑的 或者是重要的
What do you think is funny?What is important?
你懂吗，那是真的，真的发生过
You know, that this was real,this happened.
我很高兴你这么说，因为...
I'm happy you're saying that,because....
我是说，我觉得自己很没用，因为我从来不能这么洒脱
I mean, I always feel like a freak because I'm never able to move on like this:
人们只是随意留情，甚至即使是认真的感情
People just have an affair,or even entire relationships...
...人们也会分手，然后忘记
...they break up and they forget.
就像换另一个牌子的麦片一样简单
They move on like they would have changed brand of cereals.
你不能取代任何人
You can never replace anyone...
因为每个人都有他那种美丽的，独特的细微之处
...because everyone is made of such beautiful, specific details.
我觉得，当你年轻的时候 你会相信...
I guess when you're young you just believe...
...你会认识很多人
...there'll be many people you'll connect with.
但后来你才会发现能交流的人其实很少
Later in life you realize it only happens a few times.
不知道我是第几个希望跟你有交流的人，可还是把自己的希望寄托在这虚幻的网络里，希望有一个可以倾诉，可以把心中任何别人看起来胡思乱想的疑问跟一个自己远观着特别的人诉说，更希望你能分享你的快乐，不想给自己贴标签，我也想不出其他让你能跟我结束的理由，只是我发现我们认识的人很多，能交流的人
何况你又不能保证和他们好好相处 就这样，失去联系了
And you can screw it up, you know.Misconnect.
过去的就让它过去吧 事情本来就是这样的
The past is the past.It was meant to be that way.
...很多我所崇拜的人..
...that so many of the men that I admired most...
...他们的生命都奉献给了 比自己更重要的东西
...that their lives were dedicated to something greater than themselves.
...男人总想让人觉得他们很重要 但事实已不是这样了
...men need to feel essential and they don't anymore.
多年以来，这种观念深植于他们脑海之中...
It's been imprinted in their head for so many years...
...好像他们就必须要是家里的顶梁柱
...that they had to be the provider.
比如，我在工作中就是一个坚强，独立的女性
Like, I'm a strong, independent woman in my professional life.
我不需要一个男人养我
I don't need a man to feed me...
...但我仍要一个男人爱我，而我也爱他
...but I still need a man to love me and that I could love.
我在想，对我来说，还是不要把事情想得太浪漫比较好
I was thinking, for me it's better I don't romanticize things as much anymore.
我一直都吃这个亏
I was suffering so much all the time.
我仍旧有很多梦想，但它们都与我的感情生活无关
I still have lots of dreams,but they're not in regard to my love life.
这样并不会让我不开心，因为事情本来就是这样的
It doesn't make me sad,it's just the way it is.
我只有一个人独处的 时候才会真正开心
I mean, I'm really happy only when I'm on my own.
即使是一个人，也比坐在情人边上却心不在焉要来的好
Even being alone, it's better than sitting next to a lover and feeling lonely.
浪漫对我来说并不是一件容易的事
It's not so easy for me to be a romantic.
.你就会拒绝那些虚幻的想法 接受生活中的现实
...you forget about your delusional ideas and you take what comes into your life.
...我只是有太多平庸的感情了
...I've just had too many blah relationships.
...但是我们却没有那种心灵上的沟通 或是发自心底的兴奋
...but there were no real connection or excitement.
起码我这边是这么感觉的
At least, not from my side.
我本来是好好的，直到我读到你那本该死的书
I was fine until I read your fucking book.
它把陈年往事又翻起来了，你知道吗？
It stirred shit up, you know?
它让我想起了，我曾经真正的浪漫过
It reminded me how genuinely romantic I was...
...我对于世界有过多少希望...
...how I had so much hope in things...
...而我现在已经完全不相信任何爱情了
...and now it's like I don't believe in anything that relates to love.
我已经感觉不到人之间的感情了
I don't feel things for people anymore.
从某种意义上来说，我所有的浪漫 都在一夜之间消耗光了...
In a way, I put all my romanticism into that one night...
...而我将永远不可能再有那种感觉了
...and I was never able to feel all this again.
就好像，那一夜不知道怎么 引发了我的全部感情...
Like, somehow this night took things away from me...
...而我把这些感情都向你倾诉出来 而你却把它们都从我身边带走了
...and I expressed them to you,and you took them with you.
这让我感到孤独！好像爱情再也不属于我一样！
It made me feel cold,like love wasn't for me.
从来没有，但如意的人又是什么呢？ 你的真爱？
Never. But what does it mean,the right man, the love of your life?
这种想法简直可笑，说什么我们只有 找到了另一半人生才是完整的
The concept is absurd. We can only be complete with another person.
于是现在，从一开始，我就不愿意付出努力
So now, you know, from the starts,I make no effort.
- 因为我知道一定不能成功 - 你不能这样
-I know it's not gonna work out
但我真得痛不欲生 因为麻木而痛不欲生
But I'm dying inside.I'm dying because I'm so numb.
我不能感受到伤心和兴奋 我也不会感到苦涩，我只是...
I don't feel pain or excitement,I'm not even bitter, I'm just....
我不想变成那种人 在52岁时离了婚...
I don't want to be one of those people who are getting divorced at 52...
...落着泪，承认从来就没有爱过自己的伴侣...
...and falling down into tears, admitting they never really loved their spouse...
...感觉自己的生活好像 完全被吸尘器吸走一样，一片空虚
...and they feel their life has been sucked up into a vacuum cleaner.
他们的身上很多东西我们都有，我想要的生活就是像女主角那样，做自己喜欢的事，去真正做一些事，很多句话都说出了我的心声，那么简单的事，在中国却不大可能，感觉永远不会对
伊桑霍克“黄昏”蜜恋
